MPM May 12, Questions

What area of your money life is most challenging for you?  Being dependent on the monthly cash/check, and not being able to say no and just quit the job if I want to. I must go to work due to the need of the money, there is no choice in that at least in my conditioned mind.  Spending more than I earn. The amount of money someone earns or possess has for me something to do with how important and powerful this person is. The more a person seems to possess the more respect / admiration / fear I have. This person could destroy my life or take my women or ... Dont save enough money for retirement, makes me anxious about the future  There is a fear of losing my job / money and then having nothing left  In my family success was always connected to having / earning / possessing a lot of money. So Im not successful in my eyes if my monthly pay isnt enough and if I spent more than I earn. Easy program to attack myself subconciously, where one of my beliefs is that I would only be loved by my mother if Im successful / rich / have enough.  Is there a facet of it that causes suffering? Not having enough makes me feel sometimes worthless and not belonging to the group / class I would love to belong to.  Im becoming jealous when my mother is telling stories about others and their success / money. In what area of your relationship with money would you most like to have a breakthrough during this class? I would like to let go the attachement to money and all the beliefs I have in connection to money.